This post was written by a candidate who reached the final interview during our 'doing recruitment differently' experiment.
“But you didn’t get the job.”, my boyfriend pointed out when I told him I was going to write a blog about my recruitment experience with the Collective Impact Agency (CIA). “You didn’t get the job, and what are you even getting in return? Why would you do it?”. He said, ever my protector.
I could have told him it’s less about ‘getting things’ and more about sharing learning and reflecting. I could have mentioned something about the importance of concluding a process, good deeds and karma. But instead, I made it simple and replied - “Because I like them”.
A different type of recruitment process
When I think of the recruitment process, I visualise the employer standing tall above the potential employee, asking them to prove their worth in order to be allowed ‘in’. The dynamic between the two parties usually cannot help but be unequal. There’s no awareness of individual need and, (like dogs in a Crufts competition) applicants are left jumping through repetitive, uniform hoops.
Not this time though. The CIA’s recruitment process replicated none of what we usually see. Abby and Andy asked applicants to present their true selves and (in return) also invited applicants to get to know them. This removed the power that anonymity automatically provides and instead they created connection, added compassion and spent time, energy and emotion where others would not.
So, the employer successfully avoided the usual way of doing things – but did I?
Moving in to the unknown
Over the past 15 years of applying for roles, I have received some deep-set programming when it comes to what I believe will get me a job. Dependent on how often I’ve been successful and the feedback I’ve received, a network of neurons has slowly formed within my brain. Electrical signals have fired around it again and again, refining and then binding my thinking on how I should act, behave and present myself to get further ahead. It’s taught me to push my skills forward first, to minimize my opinions, to never falter, or ponder and to always swiftly get my point across.
Although I was being clearly told that things were different in this application, unconsciously, there was a huge part of me which did not want to move in to the unknown. This part of me didn’t want to trust that it was still safe, it didn’t want to relax and it certainly didn’t want to expose any part of the real me which might be rejected.
Going through this recruitment process was a lesson in recognising this programming, observing it and moving past it.
Examples of my programming at work:
First off, we were asked not to provide a CV.
This really panicked me.
What!? Without a CV, how would they see the full extent of my previous work? How could I even prove I was legitimate? Uh oh.
So, I set to work frantically pulling apart my resume and trying to weave every single part of it in to a piece of writing for the first stage of the process. Of course, I finally realised that this was impossible, and I would have to let it go. But, not in a ‘Elsa finally recognises her inner glacial powers amidst snow-capped mountains’, kind of a way, but really, really begrudgingly. Straight away, the wiring of my brain sprang in to action, convincing me to ignore the worth of who I am and exhibit the worth of what I can do.
Secondly, I had no professional persona to hide behind.
When it came to writing a blog on autonomy, I initially I produced two versions - one which was more like a press release (short, clipped and factual), and the other which dealt with my own thoughts and feelings. When I finally decided to share the piece which included more of ‘me’, it felt like a wild stab in the dark. What if I’d got the wrong end of the stick? Taking away the professional, (potentially lofty) tone that I usually used was like taking away a layer of familiar armour and without it I may have been more like myself, but I was also more exposed.
Finally, I struggled with the concept of being informal.
The weekend before my interview I had geekily sat in a Costa for hours, making colourful cue cards and frantically revising. This meant that when I sat down at my laptop to speak to Abby and Andy, I was primed, ready to answer each question thoroughly and robotically. When I was told the interview would be more of an informal conversation, it completely threw me. All of those brilliant answers I’d prepared and learnt like a script were now lost, and what was I without them? Don’t get me wrong, I would much prefer an easy chat to the usual strict back and forth, but I was so nervous to see what might emerge outside of the usual structure. I could feel the adrenaline still rushing around my body, ready to perform in a race which no longer needed to be run.
Although I’m never ‘acting’ during interviews, I am often operating at a speed and with an energy which isn’t natural to me and, of course, I want to present my very best side. I think everyone does this. I was told and even shown that I was in a safe space with Abby and Andy, yet I still I found it hard to remember. Throughout the interview I felt I was walking on a tightrope, balancing between being the real me and the one who thought it essential to impress.
Conclusion
What’s clear to me after this process is that when it comes to working to earn a living I (along with everyone else) am entrenched in a culture with hierarchy and competition at its core. It’s a ‘dog eat dog out there’, and I have internalised this deeply, effecting my behaviour in the process.
On the other hand, though, I can’t fail to see that no matter how comfortable the application was made, there still was an imbalance of power. It was unavoidable. Abby and Andy were both authentic and available throughout, yet they were still holding something that I wanted and their opinion of me was the deciding factor on whether I got it.
The only thing I can think of which might help to ease this indisputable truth, would be to bring both employer and applicant on to the same page even before the process began. Next time, before the very first stage, potential employees could be provided with documentation which highlights the issues they might grapple with internally throughout the recruitment. This would free them from the limitations of doubt and allow them to start thinking and behaving outside of the box more quickly and with ease.
Overall, this process has been so much more wholesome than any other application I’ve done – so a massive well done needs to go to Abby and Andy for holding it all so well. I enjoyed the challenge of each stage, was intrigued to question my own attitudes and the positivity I’ve drawn from it will stay with me for a long time in to the future.
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